How do you painfully send your loved one in heaven a pet?

I will explain how I had to painfully send my loved one in heaven his pet. Someone murdered my son, Luke, when he was nineteen years old, and I miss him terribly.

I was taking care of Luke’s cat, Kayley; it was bittersweet. She missed Luke as much as I did. I was sure of that because every time anyone went into his room, she ran up the stairs to see if it was Luke. She did that when he was away at rehab too.

One year after Luke died, his cat, Kayley, got sick. There was blood in her stool, and there was nothing the vet could do to help her. She had been bleeding on and off for several years. We had to have her put down because there was no hope for a recovery. We could tell she was miserable; she had been acting strangely for a few weeks.

I scheduled an appointment at the vet for Saturday so that my husband, Mike, could go with me since I didn’t want to go alone.

The last night with Kayley was torture. How do I painfully send my loved one in heaven his pet?

I didn’t want to leave her since I knew it was my last night with her. Those moments were so precious to me. I finally went to bed, but I kept getting up during the night to check on her.

When I got up in the morning, I held her and cried until it was time to leave the house. Mike brought the carrier up, put her in it, and carried her to the kitchen door. I came out and put my shoes on, and Mike started to cry. He said that he couldn’t do it.

Without saying one word, I took the carrier and walked out the door, putting her in the back seat of the car. Crying hysterically, I told her that everything would be okay and that she would get to see Luke. I didn’t know how else to comfort her or myself.

Are animals in heaven and, if so, how do I painfully send my loved one in heaven his pet?

Even though animals don’t have souls, I believe they go to heaven. Just one of the many verses in the Bible that reference this is Revelation 19:14 “And the armies of heaven, arrayed in fine linen, white and pure, were following him on white horses.” If Luke wasn’t already in heaven missing his cat, I was sure that I would not have been able to do that. I was so jealous because she would get to see Luke, and I wouldn’t. I wanted it to be me, not Kayley that was going to heaven.

Mike came out of the house and said he would drive. When we got to the vet, I carried her in and shielded her eyes from all the dogs. I knew how much she hated dogs. Ever since she was a kitten on the farm where she was born, she was afraid of dogs because they used to chase her.

I am out of control.

They took us back to a private room right away, probably because I disturbed the whole waiting room with my loud sobbing. I couldn’t help it. It was just unbearable! I felt like Luke was dying all over again because I knew he loved his cat more than anyone on this earth, including me.

About five minutes after we were in the room, the veterinarian came in. He said that he had to give her a sedative to keep her calm to find a vein to inject her with the euthanasia solution. I told him that I wanted to hold her the whole time because I didn’t want her to be scared or to think that we were abandoning her.

I didn’t care about the pain I was enduring knowing what was happening to her. She was more important than me at that moment, so I held onto her.

I must willingly surrender everything to God.

In my mind, she became Luke. I felt like I had to say goodbye to Luke like this was the last piece of my son, and I must willingly hand Kayley over to God!!! I cried and cried, and I thought she must have known something was wrong. Animals can sense these things.

The vet said that he had to take her into the other room to give her the sedative.

He brought her back after about ten minutes, saying she would probably get sleepy and that her head would start falling, and she may become angry. I held her tight and supported her head.

Am I holding Kayley or Luke?

She wrapped her paws around my shoulders and my neck like she did before. SHE WAS HUGGING ME!!! When Luke was a toddler, he used to wrap his arms around my neck and play with my hair. I held Kayley tighter and cried harder.

She was not getting drowsy and started to growl at me. She tried to attack me, just like Luke did when he rebelled because I didn’t get him released into my custody from juvenile detention. I had no choice but to put Kayley back in her carrier, just like I had to put Luke in rehab.

I think Kayley thought that, after the vet brought her back, we would leave, so she gladly jumped into my arms. The longer we stood there, the more she realized that something was wrong because we weren’t going to leave, so she got angry with me.

After a while, the vet returned and said he would have to give her another shot since he wasn’t sure he got the first shot into her. When they came back, I did not try to pick her up.

I’m having flashbacks to my son’s death.

She was very drowsy and appeared to be sleeping with her eyes open. That really freaked me out! Was Luke lying on the ground with his eyes open? Who closed them for him if they were open? Oh, the unbearable pain I felt!

I bravely rubbed Kayley’s cheeks and her paws until the vet was ready to inject her. I asked him if she was aware of anything or felt anything. He assured us that she wouldn’t, so I told him that we were going to leave.

Mike and I left in tears through the back door. I cried most of the day and refused to go to church that night. I was so sad! But as I said before, if Luke wouldn’t have already been in heaven waiting for his cat, I could never have done it.

My last gift to my son in heaven is painful.

I tried to think of it as my last gift to him. Since I couldn’t say goodbye to Luke in person, I felt like I was sending him his cat. One last gift until the day I see him again when this world ends, or I die.

Oh, what a joyous day that will be! I can’t wait! I want to see all of my loved ones in heaven. It can’t come soon enough.

My life is empty without my son and his beloved cat.

The next few months would be hard. I didn’t know if I would ever stop looking for Kayley every time I walked through the door. She greeted us for many, many years, and I will forever miss that. I will not get any more pets because it is too painful when something happens to them.

How do you feel about getting a pet again after losing one?