Today, as I rode my bicycle, I thought about every season of life while looking at the trees around me. Their leaves are beginning to change into those gorgeous colors that appear every fall—reds, oranges, yellows, and shades I couldn’t begin to name. Fall is my favorite season.
I love trees. I love photographing them. And I started thinking about how much trees change throughout the year
Maybe we aren’t so different.
There was a time in my life before I knew Jesus when I didn’t realize how much I was missing. I didn’t know my life was incomplete because I didn’t know anything different.
Then I learned about Jesus. I learned he loved me enough to die on the cross for me. He shed his blood to offer me grace, and he rose again so that death would not have the final word. Because of him, we can have eternal life.
I accepted his offer and asked him to be my Savior. And God began changing me from the inside out. He gave me his Holy Spirit to live within me, teach me, guide me, and gradually transform me into the person he created me to be—a woman who wants to share Jesus’ light with everyone she meets.
Looking at those trees today, I realized that my life has had seasons too.
Summer
Think about a tree in summer. Its branches are covered in vibrant green leaves. It is alive, full, and flourishing.
That’s how I felt when I met my first husband, Tony. I was so full of life and so very happy. Life couldn’t have seemed much better. We had a beautiful wedding, and later Tony gave me one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever received: our son, Luke.
Luke became my world.
But during those years, something in Tony began to change. By the time Luke was born, Tony wasn’t taking care of himself the way he needed to. He wasn’t properly managing his diabetes, and his use of alcohol and marijuana had increased dramatically. Eventually, after a night of drinking, Tony died in a fiery car crash.
Suddenly, my season changed. I was a widow—a single mother. And I was terrified. How was I supposed to raise our beautiful one-year-old son by myself?
But then I would look at Luke. I would see the joy on his face, hear his laughter, and watch the light shine in his eyes. And somewhere inside me, I hoped I could feel that kind of joy again too.
Luke also had an undeniable spark of mischief that made watching him grow especially interesting. And slowly, life continued.
Fall
Eventually, my life became colorful again.
I met Mike. Mike surprised me in ways I never expected. He seemed to know what I was thinking before I said it. He would do things for me simply because he cared—those little things that tell you someone truly knows you, sees you, and loves you.
Mike became my rock. Together, we helped raise his three children and Luke. By then, Luke was struggling with problems that had developed during the years following his father’s death.
Life wasn’t perfect. But it was full. It had color again. There was laughter, family, love, frustration, challenges, happiness, and all those ordinary moments we rarely recognize as precious until someday we look back and realize how precious they really were.
And then came winter.
Winter
On August 2, 2017, someone murdered my only child.
Luke was gone.
And just as a tree loses its leaves and appears lifeless in winter, something inside me seemed to die too. Life stopped. I didn’t want to be here anymore. Grief consumed me. Depression settled over me. Some days, getting out of bed felt like an accomplishment.
I couldn’t imagine a spring after that winter. I couldn’t imagine new life. I couldn’t imagine joy. But Jesus hadn’t left me.
He was there in the darkness, even when I couldn’t see what he was doing. And slowly—so slowly that at first I didn’t even recognize it—he began bringing me back to life.
Spring
Think about what happens to a tree after a long, bitter winter. For months, its branches look dead.
Then one day, almost imperceptibly, a tiny bud appears. Then another. And another. Until eventually the tree that looked lifeless is covered in new growth.
That’s what Jesus did with me.
As I began healing, I started asking God how he might use my experiences and what he wanted me to do with the life I still had. Eventually, I knew he wanted me to reach out to the man who murdered my son.
Tyrone.
I tried many different ways to contact him, but actually reaching him would take years. Perhaps I needed those years too. Because while I tried to reach Tyrone, God continued his work in me.
I became stronger. I laughed again. I traveled. I experienced adventures I never thought I’d have. I discovered beauty in God’s creation. I found happiness and joy again.
And the love God had placed inside me continued to grow until I wanted to share it with everyone—even the man who had taken my son’s life. Especially him.
And the Seasons Continue
Today, I was simply riding my bicycle and admiring the trees. But God has a way of using ordinary moments to remind me of extraordinary truths.
Those beautiful leaves won’t remain on the trees forever. Soon they will fall. The branches will become bare. Winter will come.
But now I know something I couldn’t see during the darkest winter of my own life:
Bare branches don’t mean the tree is dead.
Life is still there. And spring is coming.
Our lives have seasons too. Some are filled with brilliant colors. Some are green and flourishing. And some are so cold, dark, and barren that we wonder whether anything beautiful could ever grow there again. I’ve lived through all of them.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us that “there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.”
And if I’ve learned anything, it’s this: Jesus is present in every season. He was there in my summer. He was there when my life was filled with color. He was there in the winter when I didn’t want to live. And he was there when the first tiny signs of new life began appearing.
Today, when I look at the brilliant colors of fall, I don’t just see beautiful trees.
I see a promise. Seasons change. Life changes. We change. But Jesus doesn’t.
And no matter how long the winter lasts, he can bring life from what once looked dead. I know. He did it for me.
How Can You Find Hope in Your Season of Life?
Whatever season you’re experiencing, begin by remembering that you don’t have to face it alone. Talk to Jesus about what you’re going through, even when you don’t have the words to explain your pain. Look for the small blessings that might be easy to overlook when life feels overwhelming. And remember that just as trees don’t remain bare forever, the season you’re experiencing today doesn’t have to define the rest of your life.
I couldn’t see what God was doing when my world felt shattered. But looking back, I can see that he never abandoned me. He was there through every season, patiently helping me discover that even after unimaginable loss, hope and joy were still possible.
What season of life are you experiencing right now, and how might recognizing Jesus’s presence help you find hope, even in the midst of your struggles?
