Words to live by, which I learned by writing a book that changed my life.

When someone murdered my son in 2017, I prayed, and God gave me grace so I could immediately forgive Luke’s killer. I did this not because the killer was repentant but because this is what God calls us to do. Jesus forgave all my sins by dying a horrible death on a cross, and he tells us in Luke 6:37, “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” I try to live by these words, and by writing a book that changed my life, I hope to help others do the same.

God told me to share my story with the world. I didn’t know how to do this, but I knew He wanted me to help others who struggle with not being able to forgive people who have wronged them. So I’ve written a memoir called Gone in an Instant: Losing my son, Loving his killer, about how I forgave his killer and how others can learn to forgive too. But wait, let me back up a bit.

Writing my memoir opened up a world of people I’d never have known otherwise, and that changed my life.

I got to know Luke’s friends, other writers, and people in Facebook groups. And, I heard all kinds of stories that made me start caring even more about others and wanting to help them, too.

I got to know my son’s friends.

The best thing that happened after my son’s death was that a few of his friends came alongside me and helped me grieve by sharing stories of all the wonderful ways my son helped them. I treasure these memories and all the time I spend with these guys because I think of them as if they are my own children. They gave me a reason to live when I felt like I couldn’t go on.

Meeting an editor changed my life.

I didn’t know the first thing about how to write a book, so I joined several writing classes. In one of those online groups, I met Patti Townley-Covert. She has been a successful editor for many years and offered to read my manuscript. She provided many suggestions, and I spent the next year rewriting Gone in an Instant. Now I have a successful book that I’m proud to have written, thanks to her.

Patti let me read her memoir to help me see how much my book might impact others. The Windblown Girl: A Memoir about Self, Sexuality, and Social Issues was an eye-opening book. Patti had so many obstacles thrown at her, yet she continued to follow Christ regardless of the challenges. I kept turning page after page to read more of her story. It reminded me that I needed to trust the Holy Spirit to give me the supernatural strength I needed to continue my battle and finish my memoir. Patti showed me how to face my fears and ultimately triumph over them. As a result of all these efforts, she’s written a blog post about me! Check it out here. And because she pushed me to finish my book, I was featured in a local newspaper too.

I met people through groups on Facebook.

I also joined a Facebook group called We Love Memoirs. WLM is a very friendly group, and I made many friends who have supported me and my writing of Gone in an Instant. They share the memoirs they’ve written, and I soon found myself immersed in a new family. A family I desperately needed after losing my son. If you want to join this fantastic group, here’s the link.

Here’s a summary of Gone in an Instant and how it can help you.

In this deeply moving and ultimately triumphant Christian book about child loss, I share the story of how God revealed Himself in astounding ways and set me free in a manner I could never have imagined. I got through the pain and grief of losing my only child to murder, and so can you. Gone in an Instant is for you if you

• can’t figure out how to forgive someone.
• forgive but slip back into unforgiveness.
• want to be free, once and for all, of all the things you haven’t forgiven yourself for.
• have lost a loved one and don’t want to continue living.
• feel like you are all alone and no one cares about you.
• want help, but you don’t know where to turn.

You don’t need to be held down by the chains of unforgiveness any longer.

Can you believe that? It’s true! You can absolutely be set free. With insight, humor, and deep authenticity, Tammy will take you on a journey that will utterly change your life forever. You’ll find the self-help you need and the grief steps after child loss.

My heart breaks for you if you are experiencing any of these emotions.

Please come alongside me and learn from me. You are loved, and you have a purpose.

What are you struggling with today?