In the summer of 2017, God asked me to forgive a person absolutely impossible to forgive, the man who murdered my son.

In this deeply moving and ultimately triumphant Christian book about child loss, I share the story of how God revealed Himself in astounding ways and set me free in a manner I could never have imagined.

How did I deal with grief and get help to go on living after losing my child?

I got through the pain and grief of losing my only child to murder, and so can you.

Gone in an Instant can do the same for you, if

• There’s a person you just can’t figure out how to forgive.
• You forgive but slip back into unforgiveness.
• You want to be free, once and for all, of all the things you haven’t forgiven yourself for.
• You’ve lost a loved one and don’t want to continue living.
• You feel like you are all alone and no one cares about you.
• You want help, but you don’t know where to turn.

My heart breaks for you if you are experiencing any of these emotions. But, please come alongside me and learn from me. You are loved, and you have a purpose.

Here’s a preview:

***

Every morning when I rise from my bed, I notice all the places Luke is missing from. He’s not hanging out in my spotless living room, making the cat jump for the toy just out of reach, making me laugh. He’s not in his messy bedroom where his deodorant, razor, and cigarettes lie right where he left them.

He is gone.

On August 2, 2017—the day I’ll never forget—a murderer’s bullet ended my nineteen-year-old son’s life. Why did God allow this to happen?

I never could have survived the following days, weeks, months, and years without God’s deep love and comfort. And while I was angry a stranger would murder my son, I never once felt hatred for the killer. God’s Word tells us:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. … Do not take revenge, my dear friends. (Rom. 12:17, 19)

I chose to forgive my son’s killer for what he took from me.

Throughout my life I’ve made so many mistakes undeserving of forgiveness, and yet I was forgiven. At fifteen, I rebelled against God and my parents to be with the charming twenty-four-year-old predator who would become my husband and the father of my son. Ignoring good advice and God’s strong warnings, I left my difficult home situation, only to find that the man of my dreams was a clone of my alcoholic father, whom I had run away from.

My one joy in this nightmare was Luke. For years, I endured my husband’s infidelity, alcoholism, abuse, and criminal activity until one night he was killed in a car crash. At twenty-eight years of age, I found myself widowed, a single mother to my very young child. The heavenly Father I’d rebelled against became my only hope.

Eighteen years later, just when my son reached the prime of his life, the unspeakable happened and he was gone.

The most unexpected thing took place when I faced my son’s killer and told him directly that I forgave him. My heart broke for him—this total stranger who seemed little more than a boy himself. Through my pain, by God’s grace, I felt a flood of love for my son’s murderer. I wasn’t just making a public declaration of forgiveness. Forgiveness flowed through every fiber of my soul. With it, came peace.

I had never thought of myself as a writer, but God had a different plan in calling me to write this book. Gone in an Instant: Losing My Son, Loving His Killer doesn’t just chronicle the agonizing events of my son’s death but follows my own journey to faith, forgiveness, love, and renewed hope. Ultimately, it’s about how I learned to live each day to honor my son’s memory and to serve God with the assurance that he will use my son’s death for good, because that is what our heavenly Father does.

Forgiveness is not easy; it takes a lot of work, but the end result makes it all worthwhile.

• Do you struggle to forgive but can’t figure out how?

• Do you want to be free, once and for all, of all the things you haven’t forgiven yourself for?

• Have you lost a loved one and can’t find healing for your pain?

• Do you feel God has abandoned you or was never with you in the first place?

If so, you are the person for whom I wrote this book. As you read, may God comfort you with the comfort he has given me.

***

You don’t need to be held down by the chains of unforgiveness, grief, pain, or loneliness any longer. Can you believe that? It’s true! You can absolutely be set free. With insight, humor, and deep authenticity, I will take you on a journey that will utterly change your life forever. See what Gone in an Instant can do for you.